I do love you. But it’ll never work out between us. Don’t get me wrong; I have my own flaws. I mean, we all do. But that’s not the problem. Huh? Yes, I have considered being in a serious relationship with you. Of course that’s what I want. That’s why I’ve given you this much time and effort. I can see you have potential. It was great, at first. What’s the problem? Oh, the problem is you didn’t choose me.
Well, I’m not even sure “problem” is the right word. Because problems can generally be solved. This is entirely unsolvable. You just don’t love me. If you did, you would’ve chosen me. And this thing wouldn’t be so complicated between us. What do you mean what do I mean? Ok, I didn’t think I’d need to explain this to you, but let me break it down for you.
When a man loves a woman, it’s pretty much like the song says–there’s nothing he won’t do…for her, to have her, to be with her. The only force I know of in this world that rivals that of a man in love is motherhood. Yes, a man who loves you will suddenly see a need to change the way he does things you thought he’d never change. He’ll start talking about the future, planning for it, with you. He loves to touch you, kiss you, hold you, show you off.
When a man loves you, he’ll seek you out, because you’re important to him, and he wants you close as often as possible. He’ll make excuses to talk to you, because he actually, genuinely misses you and looks forward to hearing your voice, your laugh. He asks what’s on your mind, and listens intently to what you have to say because he doesn’t want to miss the many ways he can make you happy, comfort you, or reassure you he’s the right choice for you. A man in love is like one of the mushiest, most sensitive, most obvious things I’ve ever seen. He beams with pride over the love he’s found in her. Like really, he swells. And glows.
Seriously, I’ve shaken my head at the level of rehabilitation and tenacity of men I thought I had a chance with–in their new relationships though. Yes, they do actually change for what they want. It’s like an incredible incentive plan or something. Whole new man, coming right up! You can thank her right there.
I’ve seen men screw up with their own children, for the love of a woman. It’s not desirable to good women, but still, it happens. I’ve seen them pack up and relocate for the love of a woman. I’ve seen them make grand and very public gestures for the love of that woman. I’ve seen men who always seemed so distant and hard become human and happy, and pleasant to be around, for the love of that woman. I’ve seen men fall off social media and the ho circuit for the love of a woman. I’m just saying, when a man loves a woman, he seems complete, focused, driven, and well, happy.
It’s like all the years he spent on the planet before were just practice–if i miss it, I’ll just pay the fine and whatever; get off my back man. Hey, lately that’s kinda how you do with me sometimes. You do stuff for me when I’m mad, or when you want something. Then too, you say you’ll call me back, and you don’t. You don’t have much to talk about. You don’t hear me when I talk. We hardly go anywhere. Wait, when was the last time…?
No, never mind. I won’t make you sit through an extensive list of what’s wrong. It’s like I said–you didn’t choose me. I’m not the one. And that’s really okay, because that means you’re not the one for me either. And now I’m in a position for him to find me. Ooh, I’m so excited! It’s been real though. Take care. I wish you all the best. Be easy. Stay up. Peace.
From the Mind of:
Tonya D Floyd, Author/Host