Why do women go around asking guys about their relationship status? Like what are we? What are we doing? Well, are you in it with him or not? Why don’t you know? Sure; ask him and give him a chance to explain it to you. Because whether we know it or not, men do determine and keep the pace of any relationship. Don’t believe me? Try being in one with a man who wants no parts of it. You’ll see that you have absolutely nothing. No time, no attention, no phone time, no quality anything. If he’s not the one driving this forward, you’ll be getting the picture real soon, and you’ll be out.
I know sometimes we women “fall” into situations that can make us think he’s into us, like we just had phenomenal sex, and he lingered. Or we always have phenomenal sex. I’m not having any kind of sex with anyone else. We see every movie together, and we go out to eat a lot. He calls me “baby” or “bae” or some other term of “endearment.” My personal favorite is, “He told me he wanted ….” You know, he’s going on about his future, and the things he wants to do with his life, and the places he wants to see, and so on.
Yes! We look for a man with vision and plans and such. But unless he tells you he wants to be with YOU, sees a future with YOU, then shows you that with consistent action–let me repeat that part cause it’s important–unless he shows you with consistent action, he’s just following up on an opportunity that presented itself, and that’s not to be confused with any kind of commitment to do jack with you beyond that day-by-day thing you’re currently doing. Girl, they lie! They manipulate words! They steer you just long enough to get what they want. And do we not agree at this stage in life that they ultimately want sex? And can we agree that if the sex is good and plentiful, he’ll keep taking it? No, we’re not all on that page? Ok. I’ll wait for you to catch up….
Lots of women think they’re in relationships right now, but I’ll bet you $10 to a donut none of the men they’re with are confused in the least. They know EXACTLY where they stand, cause they drove you there. And they’ll drop you off at the nearest curb if you start trippin like you have rights. What are we? What do you mean? “We’re good. You’re cool.” Basically, stay right there girl; I got this right where I want it…. Flag on the play girlfriend. False start.
Look ladies, I know it’s exciting when a guy shows you that kind of attention that says he’s digging you. I understand how easy it is to fall for something about him because he’s different or because he’s sweet or because he’s pursuing you. But once he’s caught you, what he does is way more important than anything he says from that point forward. Is he behaving in a way that makes you feel comfortable, secure, optimistic, and valued in your relationship? Great. Now has he asked you to be his? Has he told you how he feels about you? If the answer to either of these questions is “No,” he’s not in a relationship with you just yet. Ya heard it here. You’re still a free agent, honey. Act accordingly.
From the Mind of:
Tonya D Floyd, Author/Host
Make Signature Moves.